This is a SATIRE

I don't understand much of news. Issues: social, economic, political, and global all escape my understanding. I have however become quite talented at saying "Interesting, I didn't know people would react that way..." and other such neutrally agreeable statements. Which is why I thought to write a Satire on such strong political statements- 

BECAUSE I CAN'T RELATE.

satire |ˈsaˌtīr| - noun

the use of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize people's stupidity or vices, particularly in the context of contemporary politics and other topical issues.

Here we go-

I don’t think women belong in certain (Most) careers. Business for instance. The Glass Ceiling is a great thing- because all those guys ride that hot metaphorical air balloon, we call the EGO, all the way until they burn up in the sun of alcoholism. No wonder icarus was a guy- Have you ever heard of a woman abusing the power of flight? Emilia Earhart doesn’t count; those leather pants were tight but wether she was female is still up for debate. Wow mocking a dead american hero- but only a woman would stop and ask for directions mid flight over the ocean. Women also don’t belong in comedy (The Jokes and the Industry). Back to the original point. Women don’t belong in business because they have souls. Let’s save as many of that type of human being as possible. Endangered species, they are. We don't send pandas into war- we put them behind bars at a zoo to keep them safe and visible for all elementary school field trips to see. So to sum up my point- I really don't know much about anything. And I firmly believe that. And you can't tell me I'm wrong because this is my opinion. And because I thought it means it must be correct, or else I'll be offended and blame you.

I don't mean to criticize other's or mock them for stupidity- I don't enjoy that. 

Once again, this a Satire, to help us (mostly me) introspectively look at how we think...or think about how we think...or think about what manner we think about our thoughts.
 If you are offended by this please let me know if you didn't like this- I'll make it up to you. This is a joke with the sole purpose of being funny, not to make a statement.