The Art of Letting Yourself Go - Part 1: Embrace the Snooze

During the wedding I referenced in the latest edition of the Wednesday Worrier, I was talking to a friend when we realized we had separately come to a eerily similar conclusion. That conclusion being: we "felt like the pistachio ice-cream of the flavor wheel." Odd in coincidence and in...well its is a weird thought to begin with. But remember Pistachio Ice-cream? You vaguely remember enjoying it that one time two summers ago when you mistook it for mint chip. Yet, not enough that it would ever choose it before any other flavor...except for maybe that try colored 'superman' because that is just a filthy flavor. If we lost you in the ice-cream metaphor, maybe this will help:

We both felt like the human equivalent of the phrase, "eh...you'll do."

But don't be sad, don't pity me, and certainly don't cry for me Argentina (those guys have enough to worry about with the World Cup coming up). That's what you get when you spend your days not working out, watching youtube and talking people trying to convince them that you are a misunderstood genius by using phrases like ...'post post-modern world'. I've destroyed the confidence formerly held by those most dearest to me, and now it is time to embrace failure. Which is why I'm introducing this new segment to provide tips to those who are curious about letting their lives get away from them but don't exactly know how to start down the path.

Tip 1: Embrace the Snooze.

The snooze button. We all use it. We all abuse it. We ruin our mornings in the process. And if you want to see your life sink faster than the Lusitania (too soon?) don't stop using it! Rookies often fall into the fallacy of thinking that simply not setting an alarm will provide the same effect. This is not so. Waking to your body's natural sleep cycle will allow to arise rested and refreshed. The purpose of the snooze button is NOT to provide structure and schedule to the day, it is start the day with interrupted sleep and poor decision making. The snooze button delays responsibility and weakens discipline by demanding more rest. I recommend a 13 minute snooze button used at least 6 times every morning at least. If that is too much, start slow, use a 5 minute snooze twice and progress from there. Remember, the goal is to disrupt and delay your morning enough so that you leave the front door unprepared and wearing the same scowl you had when the alarm went off in the first place.

This has been tip 1. We hope to have more tips soon for you to help you on the path right back to your parent's basement. Please feel free to write in if you have any questions or ideas on how to more effectively use 'use the snooze'.

Thanks for the inspiration (friends who shall remain nameless)

Thanks for reading, Good Luck out there.

The Wednesday Worrier - Publicly Speaking

Not too long ago I spent the weekend in a tuxedo. One of my good friends got married, and another was Best Man. The wedding was held in the refurbished stone barn of a vineyard nestled in the folds of a foggy green valley in Sonoma County. So obviously, standing around posing in a suit whilst having my picture taken in various lighting schemes with such a beautiful backdrop made me wax very philosophical. I pondered my own mortality for a while, then switched to various subjects relating to the human condition in a post post-modern world. It was all very deep and civilized. During one particular pose whilst mulling over the influence of neoclassical architecture on the social order, I watched my friend/the best man walk around the grounds prepping his "best man speech", practicing it over and over. He would stop and repeat portions, tweaking phrases so they would rollup into smoother sentences. He checked and edited words to make the nuptial storytelling more appropriate for the children that would be in attendance. Upon delivery, he knocked it out of the park and managed to embarrass the happy couple the perfect amount.

But in the midst of all this posing (my body for the camera and and my brain as a pseudo-intellectual for everyone within earshot), I started discussing public speaking with one of the bridesmaid. We landed on the question,"Would you prefer to speak in front of a crowd of strangers or loved-ones?"

She preferred speaking in front of loved-ones. In her mind, there is a natural support as those you care about want to see you succeed. Everyone would be naturally inclined to understand and appreciate what you are saying. Normally I'd jest by saying,"where do you find those people, and how do you sub them in for the current lineup?" but lets be real, if you read this, you know me and you are those people...

I preferred strangers. Reason being: they don't know I've peaked yet. Therefore, they don't know what I'm incapable of. They wouldn't suspect a toast to be 34 minutes of stumbling through half-coherent stories connected only by breath to thinly vailed movie references and the occasional lyric stolen from Ben Folds. Like watching a far too confident toddler try to fit a red square block into the round hole of a bright yellow plastic toy bin, you aren't sure if your guilt or amusement is stronger.

Note: those with Glossophobia (fear of public speaking), a wedding toast might be your ideal situation to begin practicing. If you mess up, start crying or pee your pants, you can always blame it on how happy you are for the Bride and Groom. Just a thought.

This one goes out to the wonderful wedding party -  To the Bride and Groom, thanks for letting us hang around!

Thanks for reading. Good Luck out there.

The Long Lost Mixtape - Mini: The Hunt for Music

Yesterday I found myself feeling frustrated. I had listened to the same song on repeat for 5 days straight. The magic had worn off. I had treated it like a box of Kellog's Smorz cereal on a Monday morning: not thinking about the future and enjoyed it all too soon. Now the song will go back into some long forgotten playlist for a year or so until my cyclical life returns me to a similar state that I am currently in.
Running out of new music used to be a problem. But I wised up and fixed the problem. Trial and error led me to an almost fool proof solution to the common 21st Century ailment known as "Old Music Fatigue Syndrome" (OMFS to the American Medical Association (AMA)). The strategy is three fold:

Step 1. Create a Song Cache.
I don't mean a playlist I mean a song cache. A list on Spotify, Apple Music, Limewire (does that still exist?) or the particular service you use. Treat it like an old 1940's garbage bin long before recycling: everything, good or bad, goes in. Don't give it a theme, that's like naming a pig at a slaughter house, it makes things harder. I call mine 'Big Mess' (located here on Spotify). Every song, and I mean EVERY song that I might have remote interest in goes in without question. This will serve as a life giving well in the desert of long boring work days and painful workout classes your really regret scheduling. If you ever feel symptoms of OMFS, take a few shallow dive into the cache. If you are feeling brave, give a few songs a couple spins. As time goes on, songs will slowly migrate to other playlists, embedding themselves into your life for the better. But this step is useless without steps 2 and 3.

Step 2. Search and steal any song that falls into your path.
a great quote from Brad Wilk, Drummer of Rage Against the Machine and Audioslave, said in the documentary 'Sound City'

"I think it's really important, and it's a lesson I didn't learn until my late teens, is that whatever bands that you love, Go find out what bands they love, what bands turned them on. Then you really start getting into he human aspect of it...There is this incredible library that is still there." 

Finding good music that you love is a labor of love. Finding gold takes some digging. Use the 'Similar Artists' lists on Spotify and try a few when you have a free moment. Let the Rabbit Hole take you there.

Step 3. Keep Your Ears Open.
Whilst strolling down the frozen food aisle at your local Whole Foods some odd Neo-hipster bluegrass trash will come on the speakers. And when that ends something better may start playing. An upbeat number that is half Tears for Fears, half Kings of Leon. Not bad. Kinda catchy. You were smart and downloaded Shazam...or have an iPhone.  Ask Siri or Shazam what song is playing. People will stare. But never you mind. These are the same poor souls who thought Taylor Swift's new album was a smash hit. And we pity them.

Now apply this everywhere. Watch a commercial. Hear a song. Like it? Find it. Drop it into the pit for later listening. Need an example?  Let me paint a picture.

Spring of 2015. I was a Junior in college. The pain of a particularly difficult break-up convinced me that I needed to get a gym membership. But that same pain winded me, so I sat around my apartment for a week letting Youtube steal days from my life. In this slump I happened upon a movie trailer (below). 'Aloha', staring Bradley Cooper, Emma Stone and Rachel McAdams. A romcom that looked fairly promising. I was actually excited about it. In all sad seriousness, I even planned to go see it by myself as a way to spark this single dude back into the dating pool. Pitiful right?, but shame was my name and I didn't care. Out of excitement I watched it again and again. Upon fourth viewing, at the 1:02 mark in the trailer (below), something changed. I noticed the song that started playing.

It was my feelings speaking back to me in a song I had never heard before. I googled a few lyrics. "First" by Cold War Kids. I started listening to it. I couldn't stop. In manic form I drove to the gym and hopped on the treadmill. Fortunately this gym had a "cardio cinema", basically a dark-room full of treadmills facing a projected movie screen. I say fortunately because I was smiling like an idiot. For two hours actually, all the while listening to the song on loop. The lyrics, the melody all matched how I was feeling. The little treasure of an song understood me and it provided much needed catharsis for that period in my life. And I found it because I was listening. I'm very grateful for it. Side note: what made the situation even more hilariously wonderful is the fact that the Goonies was the featured film that day. It's hard to hold onto bad feelings when "Hey You Guys!" is playing out right in front of you.

I'm going to do an episode on the song so heads up, just like you needed to keep you head up and ears open for new music. You'll find songs you need to hear, songs you've been waiting and praying for. Trust me.

And as a second side note: Aloha turned out to be unwatchable. I eventually started it on an airplane and only made it 2/5 of the way through. It was terrible and eventually switched to reading a book, yikes.

Thanks for reading, Good luck out there

Monday in History: March 5th - The Day We Met Our Best Friend

Hello Again, 

Yes, we are at it again, learning a little about our lives as we ponder the past. While today is also the date of the Boston Massacre (1770), I thought I'd stick with a more pleasant topic. As winter fades, let's take a look at something from childhood.

-Monday in History-

March 5th:

On this day in 1963, the Hula-Hoop was first patented. While similar prop/movement hoops have been see in various cultures for centuries, a plastic tubing version was invented by Arthur K. "Spud" Melin and Richard Knerr and would first hit the market 1958. This toy for all ages would become a cultural phenomenon in the late 50's/early 60's, selling roughly 100 million units within two years. Melin and Knerr would go on to found one of the most unique and influential toy companies of all time: Wham-O.  For some perspective on this company, Wham-O would also be the first to produce the Slip N' Slide and the Freshman Favorite: Frisbee.

So, before we start the week looking at how bad things might be and blaming humanities' problems on corporate greed and political discontent, let's all take just a moment to remember a good thing. Wham-O has been there for you from the beginning making life wonderful.

Wham-O first let us laugh at ourselves. We were four years old in the Spring of life, trying a hula-hoop for the first time. Frantically, we swung your hips back and forth not wanting to look down and risk a break concentration. We never quite managed to get it to work, but that was ok, because being a kid was alright.

Later, summer would come and cry out "Adventure!" The long hot days would have kept us inside if Wham-O hadn't returned with a long yellow sheet of plastic wonder. It only asked we provide a hose and other neighborhood kids to slide and slip with us. It destroyed the lawn but made summer the sweet memory that it is.

Those enjoyable summer days left and the autumn of budding adulthood came. Wham-O appeared once again as an old friend with a flying disk that never let us forget the heights our imaginations could reach. The frisbee was a circular peace stick that could make friends with anyone across the quad. Just catch and throw to begin. Marvelous, how we go along not knowing the causes of our joys, But now we can all remember one of them.

Thank you Wham-O, our old friend we never knew.


Thanks for reading, Good Luck Out There