Thursday, March 8, 2018

The Art of Letting Yourself Go - Part 1: Embrace the Snooze

During the wedding I referenced in the latest edition of the Wednesday Worrier, I was talking to a friend when we realized we had separately come to a eerily similar conclusion. That conclusion being: we "felt like the pistachio ice-cream of the flavor wheel." Odd in coincidence and in...well its is a weird thought to begin with. But remember Pistachio Ice-cream? You vaguely remember enjoying it that one time two summers ago when you mistook it for mint chip. Yet, not enough that it would ever choose it before any other flavor...except for maybe that try colored 'superman' because that is just a filthy flavor. If we lost you in the ice-cream metaphor, maybe this will help:

We both felt like the human equivalent of the phrase, "eh...you'll do."

But don't be sad, don't pity me, and certainly don't cry for me Argentina (those guys have enough to worry about with the World Cup coming up). That's what you get when you spend your days not working out, watching youtube and talking people trying to convince them that you are a misunderstood genius by using phrases like ...'post post-modern world'. I've destroyed the confidence formerly held by those most dearest to me, and now it is time to embrace failure. Which is why I'm introducing this new segment to provide tips to those who are curious about letting their lives get away from them but don't exactly know how to start down the path.

Tip 1: Embrace the Snooze.

The snooze button. We all use it. We all abuse it. We ruin our mornings in the process. And if you want to see your life sink faster than the Lusitania (too soon?) don't stop using it! Rookies often fall into the fallacy of thinking that simply not setting an alarm will provide the same effect. This is not so. Waking to your body's natural sleep cycle will allow to arise rested and refreshed. The purpose of the snooze button is NOT to provide structure and schedule to the day, it is start the day with interrupted sleep and poor decision making. The snooze button delays responsibility and weakens discipline by demanding more rest. I recommend a 13 minute snooze button used at least 6 times every morning at least. If that is too much, start slow, use a 5 minute snooze twice and progress from there. Remember, the goal is to disrupt and delay your morning enough so that you leave the front door unprepared and wearing the same scowl you had when the alarm went off in the first place.

This has been tip 1. We hope to have more tips soon for you to help you on the path right back to your parent's basement. Please feel free to write in if you have any questions or ideas on how to more effectively use 'use the snooze'.

Thanks for the inspiration (friends who shall remain nameless)

Thanks for reading, Good Luck out there.

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