The Davie Awards

For today’s blog I was supposed to write Monday in History- However I feel as though this more of a Sunday Thing-

With the MTV movie awards presented last night, I felt it only appropriate to throw my award show-

Welcome to the Frist Triennial Davie Awards! 

(They can happen as often as you’d like actually- I’ll post them as I think of them)

Part 1

via

And Things...

Here we are not held to the so stringent rules surrounding film, music or art. Here we can award anyone for literally anything we so well please. The only requirement is that they are truly the winner (in my head) and that we all get a good laugh out of it.

...Thank You to our musical guest Lindsey Lohan for her rousing and yet ironic tribute version of “I won’t go to rehab"...

and now our first award for the night- “That Random Person you have killed the most times in your imagination!”- Also known as the Justin Bieber Award

On to present the award is none other than your annoying neighbor who loves heavy metal at 3:12 a.m. (Insert Name Here)

And the nominees are…

1 .     The person who comments on your food choice while standing in the waiting line in the food court (Yes, I did order the double, what’s it to you? Huh!?!)

2.    The inconsiderate guy (or girl- let’s not be sexist) who must comment on everything your professor says and will argue/refute other’s opinions (I always gave him the name Walter- perhaps one of these days I will meet him, find out his real name and thus know what letters to burn into his front lawn.)

3.   Whoever thought it was a good idea to let Jersey Shore on Television (I still have hope for you America- at least the other 49 states can work their way out of it- I’m sorry Jersey, you are dead to me.)

4.   Tom Hanks- Not because we hate him, but only that man could make death a beautiful thing.

5.  The Child Snatcher from the film Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. With his evil pale face and hooked nose, he is the head director of the third circle of Hell. I know he only exists in my head (and not under the bed), which is why every chance I make sure that the one place he exists is also the place where he dies repeatedly.

And the award goes to ….The Guy who argues with your professor.

(Right here is where he would get his acceptance speech, but considering the fact that he won the award based on the fact that we don’t want to hear him talk, we skipped it.)

Next up we will have Kanye West, the Jonas Brothers and Paul Rubens sing their new hit single “Never Grow Up”.

…

Thank You Boys, I'm sure one day you will be respected as adults and boyfriends worthy of Taylor Swift

To present the award for Life's Biggest Time waster we have none other than the makers of Tinder...

(TO BE CONTINUED...)

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