The Long Lost Mixtape - Episode 4: Faking it through Early November

So I totally forgot to do Part 2 of the Halloween episode, but don't worry it is coming. Since it is early November, this song was far too timely to pass up.

I genuinely like people. I really do. Remember that old quote "I've never met a man I didn't like"? That's from the American humorist and entertainer Will Rogers. (Technically he didn't say it or come up with it originally but that's there, not here. Regardless, he is full of great whit and wisdom and definitely worth looking up). I think the quote is incomplete. I would tweak it to read as follows:

"Give any person enough time and patience, and you'll never meet anyone you don't like."

If you give someone a chance to be funny, they will be funny. Let them show you how great a person they can be and that is who they will become it. Comedian Maria Bamford, in her genius comedy routine '20%', described the extreme version of this idea she calls the emotion 'Violently Positivity'. Having lived in the 'super positive city' of LA for some time, she would demand and force those around to her see their own potential and achieve it despite all rejections by that person (I promise the routine is funnier than I'm making it out to be).

On the flip side, I've been one of the most bitter people on the planet. For the longest time in my life, I have hated happy couples. It went beyond seeing a random happy couple on the street and hoping that they end the day on an uncomfortable argument about who's family is more unpleasant at Thanksgiving. I mean that I would anonymously write extremely inappropriate things in the guest books at weddings.

Some of my favorites include:

"The hardest decision any married couple makes is who gets to keep all the terrible marriage advice after the divorce."

"I'm sure you'd like to know the over/under on how long we think this thing is going to last, but trust me, you both have secrets that are even more pertinent and are going to win me a lot of money."

And my personal favorite:

"Stacey, I'm so sorry, I was wrong, I was wrong! I know that now, I was a fool! I know you'll never come back to me and I know I'll never be good enough but Not Him, you can't trust him! He's done things, unspeakable things! Oh why Stacey? Why? I can't live like this anymore! I can't bear it! I can't go on. I'm going to do it this time. I swear, I'm going to do it and no re-run of the Goonies is going to stop me!"

I hope everyone can understand and enjoy the far-fetched nature of comedy and realize I've never actually written any of those things, nor would I admit to writing them in a public sphere. But do you see what I mean? Two halves. All to eager to love and embrace and support. Then suddenly a bitterness bursts into life, destroying all that good sunshine we've been walking on. I don't like it. I hate being Mr. Hyde. I fear becoming a weak Dr. Jekyll who can't control the transformation.

So now, in Clint Eastwood fashion, we need to ask ourselves a question. Is it possible to fix this dichotomy? 

The song is "Hair" by the Early November. It is the fourth track on the second disc from their critically acclaimed three disc release, "The Mother, The Mechanic, and the Path". The album itself is worth an episode but all in good time. Let's begin.

Hello, how are you?

Like your shoes, love your hair

Hello, how are you?

Love that shirt, you look great

Hello, how are you?

Love your pants, and your smile

Hello, how are you?

How's your wife and your kids?

Hello, how are you?

Love that hat on your head

Hello, how are you?

Missed you so; it's nice to see ya

Friendly! Loving! positive! Showered with compliments! And yes, these are new Vans, thanks for noticing!

 It is a song that makes you want to walk down the sidewalk of your childhood home and plink a stick against those pearly-white picket fences. And more so, this song is concerned about you. Crazy, right? Well, not you, you, but the metaphorically you. In this first verse they greet us and ask all of us individually (at least six of us), "How are you?" There is concern and care.  The music video does this amazingly with a 1950's suburban broadway representation of how great life is and can be.

But isn't that great? I mean deep down, I think we all want to be happy and want others to be happy too, right? So what's up with the chorus? Let's examine.

All we have at the end of the day
Is the lonely road out

Dark turn down "Existentialist Crisis Lane" which feeds into that old cul-de-sac known as "the Mortality of Humanity". Odd and a bit uncomfortable. The same type of feeling my recently married friends will get when they open my wedding gift to them: a free session with the city's best marriage counselor. (Once again I didn't actually do that).

But why the turn?

All I know at the end of the day

Is the love to smile now, even if that's fake

I don't know if a song can have a thesis, or even if it should, but I don't know of a better example where a song does than here. Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde meet. They greet one another and come to a mutual conclusion that they can coexist inside the same soul. Now I know what you are asking yourselves - "Where is he going with this?" Well, I'll tell you.

I can love a person enough to put on a fake smile and be happy for them in the moment, even when I clearly don't feel that way. This is the same when I tell a co-worker that "life's great despite this week from Hell". Because at my core I am happy, even though I don't feel particularly so in that moment, day or even week. It is because I have made my mind up to be so. And so has the Early November -

All I know is I'm done acting
And I'll be happy for your life, even if I hate it all

Call it a fake demeanor if you want, but despite the violent positivity and despite a super bubbly verse there is a genuine hope inside every human being. And we can use it to make those around us happy until we too find a reason to genuinely be happy too.

Thanks for reading, Good luck out there.