More Jokes

Ideas which my lead to longer bits

Why the nicknames of muscles are so depressing-

Obloquies-  Oh Bleak- because that’s how it feels every time I’m go to the gym. Why can’t they call them goals? “Hey Davis, your goals are looking great!” Or accomplishments, “Nice accomplishments!” I would start steroids immediately.

Lats sound like late to me. Like- it’s too late to save your body image now.

I make the mistake of wanting to be overly friendly at the store. It is hard to start a perky conversation with people in the yogurt aisle. But I still feel like I want to. I lean over to the clearly shut in woman who stopped taking care of herself years ago saying “generic huh, good choice. Greek yogurt isn’t worth the extra 12 cents.” And for once in her life, this deranged person has met someone stranger than her. And she thinks to herself, “Now I know how they feel, but I can’t explain it to them. I'll just have to tell the spiders under my skin. They usually enjoy stories like this.” And those spiders are probably like, "not again! she just goes on and on about those people she 'meets' at the store..."

I think I’m not going into the medical field. This is because I am not good with small talk. I would make the worst OBGYN. A normal person would be totally professional with the situation, and focus on the medical condition at hand. This woman is about to experience the most excruciating and beautiful experience of her life, and all I can think about is the chest burster scene from alien. I think birth is such a wonderful thing, and I would hate to ruin it with awkward small talk like, I turn to the couple and ask, “so how is your relationship going?” Not the time or the place.