Another Bunch of Jokes

Thanks for reading, 

A girl sitting near me in the food court just spent the last few minutes talking about how she gave up soda. She said she feels great. Ironically that is the way I feel when I drink soda. I am a religious person and I have seen faith help and change people for the better. However, respect and tolerance of others (which Ironically includes their beliefs) is a blessing to all, and is necessary for society to function. Which is why I write this post.

Vegans and Vegetarians- Please tone it down.

There are many religious fanatics who commit terrible crimes of humanity, and disturb society in general. All too often this extremely small minority is blown out of proportion.

Health Nuts on the other hand go uncontrolled and unmonitored. This is why I am convinced the NSA should begin watching any and every person who has made a financial transaction at whole foods.

If potted herbs didn’t cost so much, maybe the dread-locked peoples walking in could afford soap.

Whole foods has the greatest business strategy ever. Price is inversely proportional to the amount the average person knows about the item. Something like bread starts at like what 8 bucks? Ya it’s bread, but you aren’t trash, you are paying for all 14 grains, only two of which are native to north America, and one which only grows on a small valley in southern Peru, and can only be harvested by the local tribes matriarchal leader, who then financial supports the rest of the tribe. And trust me on this one, it is on the label. I don’t even go into whole foods to buy. The labels are their packaging (which is made from recycled organic plastic) are the best. They are the only labels that are more entertaining than potential side effects for weight loss products. You have to use your imagination.

I love the people that go into whole foods. The Neo-Hippy. They have two kinds. The kind which are…well kind, and the brand which are doing it simply because they want to be different in a better way. I love the first group. They simply like what they do and they do it. The other group seems to do everything they do simply to make me feel like I am dirt, which ironically is how their food tastes.